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Discussing turning over a new leaf. [18 Jul 2009|07:00am] imquotes [orbitaldiamonds] me: I was supposed to do this with you!) heather: You are, you prat :) me: Coming from you, it sounds like a term of endearment. :P heather: I'm Australian. Fuckwit is a term of endearment to me :P post comment

In case you're not down with the twitter... [18 Jul 2009|12:42am] superberg ... you can start reading the first draft of my story here. post comment

Parking Lot=Playground. Makes sense to me!! [17 Jul 2009|08:46pm] library_mofo [sapitacherry] First, howdy to all! Our library takes up--parking lot(s), building(s) and garden...ish thing-- nearly an entire suburb block on the corner of two very busy streets . The corner itself is a gas station. Our 'big' parking lot is currently gravel and weeds thank-you-fucking-town-hall/board members and unusable. The smaller usable parking lot is right next to the gas station and currently riddled with potholes and buckling concrete . Which brings me to our story. Dear babysitters youth leaders (or whatever.), So let me get this straight. Because the library, and in turn the parking lot of said library, is 'public property', you morons think taking your 30+ wards into the parking lot and playing frisbee, football and whatever else is fine? Guess what IT'S NOT. You pay taxes? Wow so do i. (yup, they sure said that.)There's no park nearby? There's two nearby--two blocks east and another three blocks north. Those steel thingys with wheels? People own those cars and they like them NOT dented THANKS. No one is allowed to park, play, barbecue or whatever here when we are closed. If one of your kids gets hurt in on library property who do you think gets fucked along with you idiots? Us. This is NOT public property. Why don't you let the kids play in town hall? That's also public property according to you. Get out. *makes growling noises* those mofos hit my car! 5 comments|post comment

Late Night Chicago Haunts [17 Jul 2009|08:18pm] chicago_cheap [anathematically] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | the science of selling yourself short-less than jake-anthem ] Last fall I moved to the city proper after living my entire life in the far suburbs. One of the things I've noticed -- and I noticed this before moving here -- is that there are very, very few places (other than bars/clubs) that are open late. Particularly, coffee shops, or even late-night book stores. I work until 1am, so it'd be awesome to find a decent, low-key place to go get a cup of coffee (other than 7-11) after I get off work. Does anyone have a decent list of places that are open late? I live in Logan Square, and I sometimes go to Mercury (in West Town) and I've been meaning to hit up New Wave Coffee. 7 comments|post comment

discharge? [17 Jul 2009|07:17pm] nuva_ring [manderleys] Does anyone else who uses nuva ring experience more discharge than usual? I don't think mine is from an STD or anything - it's clear, doesn't smell different than it ever has, etc. Before I was on the nuva ring I used the patch for a few months and never noticed an increase in discharge so I was just wondering if anyone else experienced it on the nuva ring. I've been using it since Aprilish. thank you! 3 comments|post comment

Large Junk: Dreamy Quality [17 Jul 2009|09:56am] ljdq [chaosvizier] So, did you remember to play this week's quiz? Did you remember that it's Thursday today? No? Well, that's ok, because it's not really Thursday anyway, and you may or may not have played yet. So go and play! If Fridays can be Thursdays, then lurkers can be players, and newbies can be winners, and beggars can be choosers! Do it! Baby Cougar demands compliance! Go. Play. Take Quiz. 1 comment|post comment

another weird-as-fuck dream [17 Jul 2009|06:21am] babybluekeds [ mood | sleepy ] So... first I'm walking up to the bowling alley, and while I'm walking I realize I forgot my glasses for some reason, but I was already almost there so I said screw it instead of going back for them. I go in the bar, and it's really crowded and everyone else is watching baseball intently and I couldn't find anywhere to sit down, and I couldn't get Brad's attention to get a beer (but all of a sudden I was holding a six-pack, so I guess it's okay). I was still trying to find a place to sit, when the baseball game was over, so suddenly it's almost completely empty in the bar except for a few people. One guy who bowled in the Thursday night league was there and told me to sit next to him and have a beer, and the six-pack I was holding before was on the bar next to him. So I sat down and chatted a bit ("oh, good to see you again, how's it going, blah blah"), got one of the bottles out and realized they're all empty, and the guy was like "Haha, I'm just fuckin' with ya. I drank them all already." In the next part I wasn't really in the dream, I was more watching it. It was one of those hospital drama shows I think, and some kinda shit was going down at the hospital when something weird I don't remember happened and one of the guys had to go down in the basement to check it out. The basement was a long concrete corridor with pipes running along the ceiling (you know the type). The guy who went down there found some girl who worked there and they started bickering at each other about something, and the guy got all mad and walked out of the room, and then turned some valve on a pipe to spray water all over the girl in the other room. She got super pissed and did the same thing to him (and at this point I was actually part of the dream again, because I was getting soaked too). Then some short asian girl wearing orange scrubs and the token grumpy fuddy-duddy doctor who's always in those hospital shows came down to yell at the two other doctors for screwing around and they need to get back to work. Then I have to pee, so I go to the bathroom, along with the guy doctor and pee. The guy gets done peeing first and leaves, then the asian girl comes in and starts peeing in the urinal next to me. I finish up and go wash my hands, and then while she's washing her hands I told her that I'd never actually seen a girl pee standing up and that I was really impressed (I know it can actually be done, I've just never seen someone do it before), and she thanked me and commented on how nice but weird of a compliment that was but was all flattered about how I didn't freak out about it because everyone else does. This is how I know it was a dream, because in real life girls don't find me charming in the least and if I told one I liked the way she peed standing up she probably wouldn't be batting her eyelashes at me and shit, she'd probably punch me in the face or something. I guess I just wish I could meet someone who actually would take something like that as a compliment rather than getting offended. Oh well. Then I woke up because I really did have to pee! post comment

What sound does a raccoon make? "Cooooooooooooooooon" [16 Jul 2009|10:05pm] ladybiue [ mood | amused ] Raccoon, Raccoon, Not So, the other day my brother knocks on my door at 3am, urgently whispering to me to shut my windows, because there was a RACCOON on the ROOF. Luckily, my windows were closed. Stefan was convinced the raccoon was going to push through the screen and come in his room. He shut his window, but the big huge raccoon kept snuffling around and thumping on the shutters. My brother kept shining his flash light out the window, and the raccoon kept coming over to the side of the window and peeking in like "Y HALLO THAR!" It was kinda of cute, but a little ridiculous. We've never had them on the roof before! Sure, they crawl through the yard, come up to the back door, rifle through the garbage. But never on the ROOF. My mother thinks he was looking for delicious bees in our shutters. Which makes you wonder why we have BEES in our shutters?! And raccoons on the roof?! And foxes burying dead chipmunks in our flowerpots?! Ahhh, wildlife! You haven't left us even though the forest is gone. <3 post comment

Morning civics lesson [16 Jul 2009|02:49pm] library_mofo [reference_fairy] Dear Stubborn Ignoramus Patron: You asked me for the names and contact information for the politicians who represent your district in the state government. The answer is "Jane Smith" (your Assemblywoman) and "Jane Jones" (your Senator). You do not have a congressperson. That is the federal government. Every time you ask me who your congressperson is, I will give you the same answer: the California State Legislature is made up of the State Assembly and the State Senate. Therefore, you do not have a congressperson. You have an Assemblymember (Smith) and a Senator (Jones).  CONGRESS people are your representatives in the federal government (your U.S. Representative and U.S. Senator). Since you already told me that your problem has to do with CALIFORNIA GOVERNMENT, I have given you the contact information for your CALIFORNIA STATE ASSEMBLYMEMBER AND SENATOR.  If you ask me just one more time who your California state congressperson is, I will not be held responsible when I shank you with this letter opener. Thank you, and drive through.  NEXT! Dear Hurried Patron, I understand that it's 11:30 and you have to get to some office to turn in forms by noon. It's not my fault that you left your library card and ID in your car. Yes, it does cost money to print. Yes, I really do need your ID to look up your account. Yes, you will have to go back to your car to get your card/ID. No, I don't feel bad that you might miss your appointment! 3 comments|post comment

Well that's just great.. [16 Jul 2009|07:11pm] library_mofo [cybergrunt] [ mood | crazy ] I'd really like to give special thanks to all the little people who made this brain aneurysm possible, in particular: the person who decided the week before Orientation Week was the best time to implement a campus-wide printing system the person who decided the weekend before Orientation Week was the best time to re-carpet the entire office requiring us all to pack everything that we are currently working on onto trolleys and hiding them away the person who agreed to having the reference desk so high that a 6' man has to have his chair up so high his feet don't touch the floor causing the circulation to cut off from his thighs the person who shared their horrendous cold with me claiming they only had bronchitis. Oh look, now I have 'bronchitis' too... campus technology who keep showing me how good the wireless coverage is no matter how many times I tell them no one can connect the person who thought it would be funny to punch a public access terminal so hard it cracked the people who think it's funny to peel off all the stickers on the computers which tell them how to log on my co-worker, for having 3 morning teas and 2 lunches everyday while complaining about how busy they are while reeking of smoke the same co-worker for staying on in technology services way past retirement age yet knowing so little about technology I am surprised they can even use their phone Thank you, thank you all so very much.. 7 comments|post comment

[15 Jul 2009|11:51pm] ihaven0name "It's a tragedy of loving, you can't love anything more than something you miss." -Jonathan Safran Foer 2 comments|post comment

This just happened [15 Jul 2009|03:31pm] library_mofo [em_again] A patron just brought back her library card, because she thought she had to return it. I said "No, it's yours forever and ever." "Oh," she said, "So what was I supposed to return in three weeks?" "your BOOKS, ma'am. You have to return the books to us. Not the card." "Oh," she said, and walked away. 22 comments|post comment

To The Real Sin City! [15 Jul 2009|08:46am] chaosvizier In the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." He was speaking of Mos Eisley spaceport, but truly, had he ever visited Las Vegas, he could have said the exact same thing. And I did too. ( Things I did not do in Las Vegas: get married, get hookers, meet Elvis. Just to get that out of the way quick. ) 45 comments|post comment

Tell us what you all think [15 Jul 2009|01:50pm] _halloween_ [neko038] My friends and I have come up with a cute web series with a Halloween/Hell theme and we are looking for more hits. So if you are interested in comdey shorts please take a look and tell us what you think. And if you like it post it, email it, and pass it on. I act and do the makeup for them. Crys If this is not allowed, let me know and I will delete it but I remember stuff like this on this community and thought you guys might like it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So many people have been complimenting us on 664, and telling us its funny. People bugged us and bugged us wanting to know when season 2 was coming- Well its here, if you missed it! Episode 3 just came out today. But well wishes and compliments dont pay the bills. The Intarweb is supposed to be this great thing for getting word out and getting attention- so why do we still have only dozens of hits on YouTube? You people need to pull your weight! You dont want all those warm wishes to ring hollow, do you? DIdnt think so. Come on, you have Facebooks, twitters, LiveJournals- use them! Help us! Link us, talk us up, subscribe to us, rate us on YouTube! If I dont start to see some word getting out, then we might just have to turn off the funny faucet :) Here are some helpful links for ya. We really, really, really appreciate the support. The blog: http://www.lazyhorde.com Our YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/LazyHorde Subscribe on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=287837021 The latest- Season 3 episode 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwNvHreWZAo post comment

Head full of wubberly [14 Jul 2009|10:18pm] kit_a_licious [ mood | better, by determination ] [ music | Matisyahu: "Shalom / Salaam" ] A finished comic, good dinner and episode of Star Trek later, I am feeling much better. But earlier today, I felt so overwhelmed I wanted to scream. I never seem to have enough time. Everything is work and taking phone calls and organizing paperwork and teaching classes and cleaning up and then it's mad dashes for the bus and then missing that bus and then riding in heavy traffic squeezed in like a sardine on the next bus and then it's dishes and litterbox cleaning and laundry piles and organizing and finishing painting commissions and comic strips and etsy orders and it's back pain and migraines and pulled muscles and guilt. And then I bitch about it and feel even guiltier because, really, why complain? I have two arms and two legs, and I'm okay. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. It was the first page in a little Buddhist phrase book The Boyfriend got for me -- he said the man at this shop just gave it to him when he bought me these little plates with Chinese characters on them. The book itself is wonderful and it makes a lot of sense. Ah, enough of the ramble. I hope you enjoy tonight's comic. I like that this one makes me look so dumb. ;) 5 comments|post comment

Another library-design rage [15 Jul 2009|07:23am] library_mofo [frightened] [ mood | annoyed ] I'm sure our children's library is very pretty. I appreciate the aesthetics of the place, I really do. However, I would respectfully suggest that perhaps other factors should have been taken into account. Such as, ooh, letting the staff do their jobs. Or child safety. Doors that either stay propped open or close really slowly, that resist when you try to close them faster? What a wonderful thing to have in between a room full of children and a junction with two major roads. Hurrah! I cannot possibly see how this could go wrong! The staff desk and the bookshelves surrounding it are in a spiral. Very pretty. As I said, I appreciate the look of the thing. But it would be nice to be able to help a customer without first having to get dizzy walking the damn labyrinth. Or, you know, to be able to move across the library quickly when we see a child merrily wandering out of the open door. And putting the computers on a mezzanine level, behind a wall. Well, that was brilliant. Because in any given situation when you have a room full of children and teenagers, it's a great idea to have a space you can neither see nor get to easily. But putting the really expensive, easily breakable equipment up there? The stuff half the parents in the city think is a free childcare service? The stuff that causes the most fights and arguments and general bad behaviour? Genius! 7 comments|post comment

Stress and Crohn's [14 Jul 2009|09:08pm] we_got_guts [thebootyfaerie] So. I am getting over my first flare-up (the day when I could eat more than smoothies and eggs was a glorious day indeed). That part is fantastic, even though the Entocort is having some side effects. Now, I was talking with my doctor about the cause of the flare-up. He asked me if I had any clue what might have changed in my life that could have caused it (knowing also that sometimes these things just happened). I mentioned that there was a night where I did drink twice as much beer as I usually cut myself off after, and he said that it probably wasn't that, as beer tends to pass through by the next morning (and boy does it ever). He brought up stress. Now, I have/had a lot of stress in my life. I work for an NPO, so my job is ridiculously stressful. Our admin just retired and is not being replaced. I also am on the road a lot visiting friends, which, while fun, is super-stressful as I'm compulsive about planning and scheduling. Add this to the generic "on noes the economy is in the crapper" stress that pretty much everyone has right now, and yeah, I can see how my stress levels could have been considered high. But then I started thinking... how much does stress affect Crohn's colitis? (or Crohn's or colitis in general) Since the flare-up started, I've been cutting back on stressful stuff in my life. It's tough, because I'm already stressing about a weekend in February that requires travel and how I'm going to manage it. I think the Entocort is helping as I've been somewhat of a zombie since I started it, haha. But, yeah. Summary of the post: How does stress affect your Crohn's/colitis/whatever? 15 comments|post comment

library fascist [14 Jul 2009|05:34pm] library_mofo [unhipster] Earlier this afternoon a boy came in to the library and wanted to renew his card. He was 14, so I told him he needed to have his mom or dad there to renew his card (policy is you need to be 18 to renew without a parent/guardian.) He said that was fine, he just lived down the street so he went to get his mom. Unfortunately, I forgot to specify that his mom needed to bring an ID to renew his card. Stupid of me, since many adults feel it is unreasonable to have to bring either their library card or an ID to the library. Anyway, his mom got there and of course she didn't bring her ID. You might not think that would be such a big deal since she lived a two-minute walk away, but it was! She started complaining to the supervisor that it was unreasonable for her to need an ID since he knew her and she'd been coming to the library for a long time. He explained that the rules are the same for everyone and it wouldn't be fair to only enforce them for some people. Her son went back to the house and she continued to argue with him, even calling him a "fascist" for enforcing the rule. Jesus Christ. After a couple minutes her son came back with her drivers license, but she continued to argue with the supervisor about it. Her son looked pretty embarrassed. Then he asked her to sign the card renewal form, and she was like "But it says 'parent name' not 'parent signature', you have to follow the rules! I don't want to sign it!" Jesus freaking Christ. 7 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2009|02:47pm] library_mofo [kippurbird] [ mood | cranky ] Dear whoever the MoFo was that designed the library. I have been working here for nine years. In all this time we've spent trying to fix this thermostat. We've fiddled with it. We've repaired it. We've had people stare at it. The only thing we didn't do was have a Rabbi come by and try to rid it of gremlins. And yet the reading room always seemed to stay a nice toe-bluing temperature. Now, I learn, that the actual thermostat is aaaaall the way hidden in a corner over there, and the one we've been fiddling with for all these years? Goes to the back work room, three. rooms. down. Why? 16 comments|post comment

LJ Daily Quiz: 14 July 2009 [14 Jul 2009|11:25am] ljdq [chaosvizier] 1. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band: 6 am day after Christmas I throw some clothes on in The dark The smell of cold Car seat is freezing The world is sleeping and I am numb 2. Dolly Parton starred in, and wrote the theme song to, which 1980 comedy film? 3. What are Shahada, Salah, Zakah, Saum, and Hajj? 4. What structure was built on the site of the old Washington Hoover Airport? 5. Fun with quotations! From which of Shakespeare's plays do we get this quote: We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother 6. What would be the best birthday present ever? post comment

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