The night is mute and dangerous

Wed, 07 May 2008 00:25:51 GMT

Hello again--

First I wanted to say thank you to everyone who donated money to the CCFA for the Take Steps walk I'm doing. It makes me feel good to be doing something to help research towards Crohn's and Colitis and I really appreciate those of you who supported me in this.

The walk I'm doing is the Western Suburbs walk in Lisle, IL. It will be taking place on Sunday June 8th. If you don't remember my first email, the CCFA (Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America) sponsors an event called Take Steps for Crohn's
and Colitis (http://www.cctakesteps.org), a fundraising walk for the organization. The money goes towards funding research done on IBD, which we really need in order to find out more about it, find more and better treatments and hopefully someday discover a cure. The walk also helps to raise awareness about the disease.

If anyone still wants to donate but hasn't yet, there's still plenty of time! You can donate securely online at:

http://www.active.com/donate/takestepsCWS07/rachelsstorm

Or you can send me a cash or check (made out to the CCFA) if you prefer. If you don't have my address, leave a comment with your email and I'll send it to you. I'll screen the comments so that no one can see it.

Again, thank you to the people who did donate because it means a lot to me. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this.

My fundraising effort

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:32:26 GMT

Hello all--

Some of you know the health issues that I've been dealing with for the past year, but some don't or aren't as familiar so I'll summarize. Last Fall I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), which is a chronic auto-immune digestive disease with two main forms, Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis-- so far I'm diagnosed with the latter. Science still hasn't quite figured out what causes it, so there is no cure for IBD. People who have it have varying experiences, but generally have times of being very sick alternating with times of remission. It can affect people of all ages, from young children to seniors and varies in severity from person to person. People with IBD rely upon treatments, medications and sometimes surgery to control their symptoms as well as induce and maintain remission.

I tell you all of this because the CCFA (Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America) sponsors an event called Take Steps for Crohn's and Colitis (http://www.cctakesteps.org), a fundraising walk for the organization. The money goes towards funding research done on IBD, which we really need in order to find out more about it, find more and better treatments and hopefully someday discover a cure. The walk also helps to raise awareness about the disease.

This June, I will be participating in one of the Chicago area walks. If you can, I would really appreciate your help in raising money for this cause. At the following secure website, you can donate any amount of money you choose and receive confirmation of your donation through email.

http://www.active.com/donate/takestepsCWS07/rachelsstorm

Finally, I'd like to ask that you forward this email on to anyone else I may have missed since I don't have everybody's email addresses. Or for that matter, anyone else you know who would like to donate to this cause.

Thank you so much for reading this, and for all of your help!

- Rachel

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:11:26 GMT

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/15185914/detail.html

THIS is exactly why you should NEVER EVER leave your children alone in ANY PUBLIC PLACE, including a library. No one ever believes that criminals, molesters, rapists, etc. could ever possibly wind up in a library. It's not like we scan people's morality at the door!

Please God let this be a lesson to every adult out there who ends up responsible for a child.

Free Knitting Classes

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 22:41:57 GMT

For anyone who's interested, I saw this in the chicago-cheap community:

"Sulzer Library is offering a free knitting class Saturday, January 19 from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. in the community meeting room. I bumped into this super nice lady at Borders and she asked if I knew anyone who might enjoy learning and practicing knitting in a laid-back atmosphere. FOR. FREE. I told her I would spread the word.
I think she has a 24 person limit, so if you're interested, please RSVP at merylkle@yahoo.com, so she can anticipate the class size. I'm not sure if the class provides yarn and needles either, so it's probably a good idea to ask that as well. If you've always wanted to learn to knit this is a GOLDEN opportunity. Conrad Sulzer Regional Library is located at 4455 N. Lincoln Ave. ,Chicago, IL. 60625. Their number is (312) 744-7616. Again, if you wanna participate, RSVP at merylkle@yahoo. "

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 15:52:36 GMT

I just stumbled across this and although it was written by somebody with Lupus, it's still something that's helpful for any average person trying to understand what it's like to live with a chronic disease.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php

Enough

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:29:24 GMT

I've said a lot of things about myself in the past that are self-deprecating and misleading. About being a bad friend, about being socially awkward. It's way too easy for people to see things like that and either have a lightning quick, punch-in-the-stomach "No you're not" reflex or to just let their eyes glaze over and move on to the next webpage without a thought. I won't lie, I really do feel that way-- all the time. But like I said, it's misleading. It's misleading to me, and it's misleading to others.

First of all, I'm leading myself to believe that others have the expectations of me that I have of myself. And... you know what? I don't think there needs to be a second point. Forget the second point, it's going to be conjecture anyhow. The first point is important enough.

It's not a big surprise that I'm really good at being alone. I find things that I enjoy doing myself, I have fun all alone in my apartment, I don't need to be constantly surrounded by people to feel secure-- and I'm super proud of that. It's a nice skill to have. It doesn't mean I don't get lonely, but it also means that I'm not suicidal. But the only reason I'm good at that is because I've had to learn how. I wasn't born with that.

In fact, I was depressed a lot when I was younger-- even up through college. When I say I'm socially awkward, I mean that I have a skewed view of social interactions. I don't know where I learned this, but in my head I believe that if someone wants to be associated with me, they'll approach me. If they don't, then they don't want anything to do with me and I should leave them alone, or else I'll annoy them and they'll hate me. I have this guilt complex where everything I do is wrong and if I want people to like me, I should just be quiet and let them guide our relationships. Wait... I was raised Catholic. That may have something to do with it.

But I don't know anyone else who operates this way. You have no idea how much I struggle against what my mind naturally tells me about my relationships with others. These voices that tell me people don't like me, they don't want anything to do with me, that I just do things wrong and don't deserve their friendship anyhow. So naturally, when I hang back quietly and don't initiate interactions with people, they don't think twice and therefore never get to know me. Except for the ones who are somehow drawn to people like me, or else those who catch me in a rare moment of normalcy. I fear for the former, and the latter are proof of good luck.

I'm not saying that this is a rule, but the ones who are attracted to people who are quiet and non-assertive tend to be people who are not good for me. They're looking for mystery or else someone to walk all over. I am neither, and if you get to know me you find that out. I tend to leave my life an open book, and while I may be easygoing about trivial details I don't take kindly to people who use or abuse me.

In certain ways, I have not been very happy lately. When I'm not trying to distract myself from health problems, I think about the people that have been and are in my life. I have a lot of regrets about who I was when I was younger. I didn't give a lot of people a fair chance, either because of my fucked up conception of how people interact or because I was so cynical and unhappy that I just put blinders on and didn't want to bother because I figured they would fuck me over anyhow. I only dreamt of the day I could get far away from everyone I had ever known and start over. Secretly I yearned for the complete opposite.

I paid much more attention to everyone than anyone else probably did, and definitely more than anyone might have suspected. There are people from my past that I'd almost like to yell at for being such jerks to me, until I realize that they were just stupid kids like I was, and that there's no point in doing so. There are others that I think I'd really like to say something nice to, people that I remember doing something nice for me, or people who I really enjoyed interacting with, or people that I just wished I could interact with more, or people that I envied and looked up to. Saying nice things, that's much more worthwhile.

It's so much more satisfying to say something unexpected and pleasant, something kinda weird and surprising to shake someone out of their comfortable life a little. It's fun. Something to laugh about, you know? And oh, I had so many crushes on boys all those years. I could spend an entire day writing letters out to all the boys I adored. Yikes.

All of that makes me think about my present, and how I don't take advantage of the people that are still in my life, just tapping them on the shoulder to say something random. Or even being normal and just asking how they are if I haven't talked to them in a while. It's pathetic. How much have I really learned if I can't change for the better? I'm just slipping right back into old habits because they're so much easier and comfortable.

Still, just because I regret some things from the past doesn't mean I really want to change it. I can't imagine things being different, and there are too many things I wouldn't want to be different. Even if I haven't been happy about many of my friendships lately, it doesn't mean I'm not happy. I have problems but I have more than a few reasons to be happy too. I just need to finally move past my hang-ups and accept that I *have* moved way past who I used to be. Now I can start acting like it.

Stop blaming MySpace

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 18:25:55 GMT

Our entire society is *diseased* by a lack of personal responsibility. MySpace is just one area in which it's become blindingly apparent. Unless we do something about it, it will *destroy* us-- mark my words. The following are not my words, but read on, and hopefully repost it wherever you can.

Anybody happen to catch Nightline the other night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It's no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world.

I deny dozens of Friend Requests a Week showing 14 year old girls dressed like Bikini Models, wearing four inches of make up and 32 layers of eyeliner, displaying their age as 18 years old and profile lines stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?" Come on! The youth of today's world are already corrupt enough due to the undying need to be "older" than they really are. I seriously doubt there are tons of people on MySpace stalking "innocent young girls" who just happen to have tramped up profiles displying ages 4 years greater than their true age.

On Nightline, there was a story of a 12 year old girl who was a drug-addict and attributed it all to MySpace. She claims that Myspace allowed her to easily find drug dealers in her area, as well as older men to have sex with her. Now, at the age of 14, she has been checked into a drug-rehabilitation clinic and has been away from her family for 5 months. Her parents would rather place the blame squarely on the shoulders of MySpace instead of their daughter, who even admitted that at the age of 12, had already tried weed, crack, X, and had slept with numerous guys older than herself...but of course, it wasn't her fault, it was all because of MySpace.

Once again, COME ON! When are parents and children going to stop passing the blame and grow up enough to take responsibility for their actions and the actions of their children..

Parents: monitor your children online, take some responsibility for YOUR children!

Children: if a profile name sounds like something that comes out of a cheap horror movie, like "DARK ANGEL OF DEATH WHO EATS THE BRAINS OF GIRLS"...chances are you DO NOT WANT TO ADD THEM AS A FRIEND.

Apparently there is new legislation in Congress now to block MySpace in all public schools and public libraries across the United States. All because little girls want to act like promiscuous adults and don't want to accept the consequences of their actions, and parents don't want to accept the fact that their "innocent little girls" are posing as 18 year old party favors, and trying to buy drugs.

Another 14 year old girl and her mother have filed a law suit against Myspace.com because she was sexually assaulted by another user. She said he lied by saying he was on the High School Football Team, and THAT gained her trust. Obvisiously if thats all it took to gain her trust, chances are she'll pretty much trust anybody and anyone (not really MySpace's fault). She's suing Myspace.com for $30 million because she believes MySpace has poor security. WHAT A CROCK! Myspace is not a babysitting service, take responsiblity for your own actions!!!

What happened to her is a terrible thing and should never happen to anyone, period. Where were her parents? Why are they not held responsible for what their daughter does in their own home? Myspace has many many ways of blocking out/screening people, some are: you have to ACCEPT the person you may or may not know as a friend, as well as DENY people you do or do not know, you can have certain sercurity measures added like making your profile private, or asking for last name and email address, you can block a person, you can only associate with people you ALREADY know or simply you can NOT be on MySpace if you lack common sense.

Eventually, if this continues, MySpace could be totally outlawed from the Internet. Restrictions will be put in place in order to make MySpace "safer". I don't know about you, but I use MySpace to display my artwork, keep in touch with my family and friends, use it for messages, and just to have a space online that is my own. Just because some children want to act all grown up, does that mean that I may have to eventually give up my MySpace?

If you feel the same way I do, please, repost this in your blogs or bulletins, or both as "STOP BLAMING MYSPACE". If enough people post this and spread the word, maybe people will get the picture and stop blaming MySpace for every little thing that their children do wrong. As a user of MySpace, we should all repost this and take some sort of action. This is not a chain letter, and nothing will happen to you if you don't repost this in 321654987 seconds. However, of all bulletins you will read today, I am sure that this one is one of the few that actually has a point to it.

Pass this on. It's about time adults take responsibility for their own children, instead of blaming it on a computer.

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:55:31 GMT

This is frighteningly hilarious. In an article about Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin's book SKINNY BITCH, Freedman was quoted as saying the following in response to reader's anger over the book's false advertising and misrepresentation:

“They’re mad that they spent $14 on a book that was not what they thought, but they’re not mad that chickens are having beaks chopped off their faces?” asked Ms. Freedman, who now lives in Hollywood. “How is that possible? I can’t even wrap my mind around that.”

Well Ms. Freedman, that's because chickens are freakin' delicious. Being told you're buying a diet book when you're really being fed a vegan agenda-- that's not so delicious.

I don't have anything against vegetarianism/veganism per se, just like I have nothing against religion per se. What I have a problem with is people pushing their agenda down your throat, and crying about how right they are and how wrong everyone else is.

Sorry girls, some of us are omnivores. I start salivating just looking at fat pigeons. This past weekend while observing some geese hanging out at the zoo, I counted off: "I'll have you grilled, and I'll have you on a sandwich, and I'll have you with some pasta..." Foul is incredibly delicious and is packed with protein which helps build muscles, something skinny bitches don't have.

I know it sounds like I think veg's are lame, but I don't. I don't care, it's their choice. I just find it hilarious that this author couldn't understand why readers might be miffed, AND expects everyone in the world to care about a chicken's right to life. As if her way is the only way, and anyone who doesn't agree is a monster.

Well yes ma'am, I am a monster. Hand me an axe, I'd like to cut some chicken faces off myself. Yum! Thanks for the visual!

I've got a fever, and the only cure is...

Wed, 23 May 2007 21:10:47 GMT

Of all the things the doctor mentioned I might have, I really hope it's this one:

Giardiasis (also known as beaver fever)

Just so I could have the following conversation with people:

Friend/Family member: So, how are you feeling? Did they find out what was making you sick?

Me: Oh, yeah they did. I had beaver fever.

Friend/Family member: ???

It sounds like a really bad euphemism. Either for greatly desiring women, or for menstruation. I can't decide which is funnier!

I have to somehow find humor in my affliction, otherwise I'd kill myself.

Mon, 21 May 2007 21:55:29 GMT

I realize that very few people know what's been going on with me lately, so here's the scoop.

I haven't been doing that well, health-wise, ever since I had that stomach flu back in February/March. It's weird to explain, and I don't want to get into too many details. But basically I have the usual various digestive problems, including a couple weird things. My latest last week was that for a couple days, I was hungry no matter what I ate. I had trouble sleeping on Thursday night, I was absolutely starving even though I'd been eating all day. Thankfully, that seems to have stopped-- or at least greatly lessened.

These digestive problems may or may not be related to something I'm eating that I shouldn't be, but I have no idea what it is. Furthermore, I'm some degree of tired almost all the time. Sometimes worse, sometimes better. And I also am experiencing some kind of sensitivity to light. My eyelids often feel heavy, and everything seems brighter/of higher contrast than it should. Once again, sometimes this is worse, sometimes it's better. I tend to be incapable of staying up much past midnight, if I make it that long.

In summary, my body is obviously fighting with something.

This past Friday I went to the doctor because I was tired of starving and was afraid something worse might happen if I didn't get it taken care of. I didn't see my doctor, but I saw another one in her office. He listened to all of my symptoms, but wasn't sure what could be causing the hunger problem. He had me tested for a few more things, and suggested that if these tests come back negative, I might want to see a specialist.

I got the results of the tests, and they were negative. Which on one hand is good in that I don't have what they tested me for (assuming there were no false negatives). But on the other hand, it's bad because I still don't know what's wrong with me and will have to see a probably very expensive specialist who may or may not be able to help me.

And in the meantime, there's little I can do except try to eat the best I can, get the most rest I can and enjoy each day as much as possible since I never know what type of special gastrointestinal hell I'll be put through. I try to appreciate the times when I don't feel as bad, because I know I could feel much worse. And the times when I feel much worse, I try to remember that there are people out there much sicker than me. It's the only thing I can do to keep myself sane.

I would do absolutely anything to feel healthy again. I've been like this for about 3 months. Whatever it takes to heal, I'll do it... I'm only waiting to be told what to do.

So... now you know :) That's what's going on with me, health-wise.

Wed, 09 May 2007 04:35:57 GMT

I like how pretentious and silly I feel, sitting here sipping tea and listening to Calexico songs in French.

Aaaaand, now Justin Timberlake. Perfect. I am the dorkiest of the dorks.

I'll bet I'm one of those people who think they're so hip, that they can dance and look suave, when in reality they're just a complete geek, and their friends just think it's cute or something.

Yep, I'm one of those.

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 03:40:37 GMT

Some days I really go back and forth between feeling totally worthless, and feeling like this is the way my life is supposed to be and therefore there's nothing wrong with it at all.

The post-modern irony of being uber-connected, but totally isolated.

I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel.

It's alright, I'll take the blame in the end. Even though it's half your fault too. And I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life. And you will be just another ghost tagging along behind me like a row of ducklings. Welcome to the afterlife.

YESSSS!!!!

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 23:10:21 GMT

I PASSED!!! I PASSED MY COMPREHENSIVE EXAM!!! I'M GRADUATING AND GETTING MY MASTERS IN MAY!!! GRADUATION PARTY IS GO!!!!!

Living near the Ocean

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:53:51 GMT

I've officially decided that I enjoy heist movies.

Furthermore, newly added to my list of "favorite films" shall be Ocean's Twelve.
(The first one is good too, but I like Twelve over Eleven.)

Wow.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:40:05 GMT

"Don't worry if you are unsure about your purpose in life. Join the club! Most people who claim to have figured out their entire life's path are fooling themselves. You don't necessarily have to have an answer to the question 'What do you want to do with your life?' What's important is that you are open to anything -- and ready to put forth all the effort necessary to make something happen when it can."
- March 19th extended daily horoscope

Apparently, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is 10 years old this month:

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2007/03/buffy_10th_anni.html

That really kinda makes me feel old, because I watched that show from the very first episode... I was so excited when it first aired! There was nothing like it on TV, and I of course loved TV shows that dealt with the supernatural. I thought I was in for some spooky, teenage fun. Then 7 glorious seasons later...

It was just one of those shows that turned out to be more than the sum of its parts. It was incredibly powerful. I know not everyone was drawn to it like I was, so I'm not going to go on too much but oddly enough this TV show was a huge force in my life. It wasn't just about entertainment after that first half-season, it was like I found something that was outside of myself, yet uniquely me in a way nothing else had been.

Anyways, I thought I'd at least share the anniversary related news. I just can't believe it's been 10 years...

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:27:02 GMT

...for your health.

I've been sick for the past 10 days (no, it didn't stop on Sunday. Stomach flu anyone?) and will find out on Monday if I have something worse causing me to be sick.

So be thankful for your health, right now. Cause not everyone has it... I'm thankful that despite how frustrated, upset, disgusted, worried I feel at still not being "better," at least I don't have something worse. Viral meningitis (a co-worker has) or salmonella or cancer or something that causes me to be in constant pain.

I'm just tired, kinda weak, with vision that's sensitive to light. It could be a lot worse. At least I'm not vomiting or dying.

Instead, I just kinda want to sleep.

Ran away with the spoon

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:24:04 GMT

Speaking in a somewhat spiritual and philosophical sense, much of my life has felt like one long bout of "Wait... what did I come in here for?"

Maybe everyone feels like this. I don't know, I've only inhabited one body as far as I know.

It's leaving wherever you are with the intention of going into another room and performing some task. You were going to get a pair of scissors, clean the sink, grab a piece of mail, whatever. But by the time you get there, you've completely forgotten what you meant to do. So you stand there and look around the room, hoping that some item will jump out and remind you. And until you finally remember what it was, that nagging feeling will not go away.

Now, I know that everyone experiences that. But do you ever feel like you left another dimension, plane of existance, etc. to come here and do... *something*, except you forgot what it was? Maybe I came here for the spiritual equivalent of a spoon-- or an actual spoon, I mean who knows, right?

My soul is in a perpetual state of "There was something I meant to do when I got here..."

I've always been thinking about it. Which might be the reason why my apocalypse dreams freak me out so much.

I just get so frustrated with the entire human race, and I can't decide if that incredible frustration has something to do with why I might be here, or if it's the distraction that keeps me from remembering what I really meant to do.

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 20:37:31 GMT

If you think that I don't think of you, you would be so incredibly wrong. If you think that I don't wish I could be there, you'd be crazy. But if you think I have no other life and can turn on a dime as soon as my name is called, you'd be assuming too much. I never said I didn't have other things to do. I didn't say anything, matter of fact. I treated you as what you were to me, as my priority. Which doesn't necessarily mean that you lose importance as soon as you're not my priority. Whether or not that's the case depends on other factors. But I will say that one of the things my dad taught me was to always make time for the important things. Time I have, time there will be. I promise. Maybe not now, maybe not next week, but eventually.

It's always irked me when my life shifts. I only somewhat detect it while it's actually happening, but once the shift is made it's very obvious. It isn't really painful for me-- if it is at all, it's a small amount. It's uncomfortable though, for a time. It's like new shoes you have to wear in.

I guess it's painful for other people, though, sometimes. And that's part of what makes it uncomfortable for me, too. I know that in shifting, somebody is getting shifted away.

I've done it before, and I never know how it's going to really end up. It'll always be for the best, but whether it's permanent or not isn't up to me. Either way, it doesn't make it easy. It doesn't make it something that I enjoy watching. I just know that if I resisted, it would be much more painful than if I simply acquiesced.

So I am shifting into this new mode of thinking and living. Peggy calls me a cliff-jumper, and I think that I still don't entirely get that analogy but that maybe I'm coming to it gradually.

But I'm reflecting on the cliffs I've jumped, the shifts I've made and people who got lost in the shuffle. Maybe I'm supposed to be sorrier than I am. I'm not made of stone. Actually, I tend to make myself feel worse than I should. So it's not that I'm not sorry, I'm just not guilty.

I don't shrug off my winter garb because I despise it, I lay it aside because it's getting warmer. I don't need it anymore. To enter a new season means letting go of the one before, changing one's life to either embrace it or make efforts to protect oneself against it.

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 05:23:14 GMT

I have to rant for a second. This, by the way, is not aimed towards anyone I know personally. I simply observed the usual random, stupid stranger and need to put this out there.

There are so many people who should NOT be allowed to create web content in any form, including blogs. They don't know basic rules of design, they don't understand code, they write for shit or they don't understand technology. It is this last instance that I'd like to address. Specifically, images.

I'm not going to pretend that I can give an in-depth explanation of digital images off the top of my head-- I'm not that knowledgeable. But I know and understand the basics.

A digital image is stored as a file. Files have sizes measured in various multiples of "bytes." Bytes are pretty small, but can easily turn into kilobytes, megabytes and gigabytes.

As logic might dictate, the bigger an image is, the more space it takes up: more bytes. Different filetypes can also affect the number of bytes of space the image takes up. Some common image files are bitmap, JPEG and GIF. Bitmaps are BIG! GIF and JPEG are better-- I personally use JPEG.

Now, let's talk about the internet. Programs like Internet Explorer, Firefox, etc. are called BROWSERS. They allow you to view web documents, which happen to exist as files stored on a computer somewhere (really, a server). The more space the document takes up, the longer it takes to load. Follow me? Okay, here's the connection.

If you fill a webpage (web document!) with images, the browser also has to locate and display those images. Consequently, the larger those images, the longer it takes for the webpage to load.

Here's where it gets a little complicated... just because the image LOOKS small on your page, doesn't mean the file being called up by your browser is as small as it looks. You can set the display size of any image on a webpage to whatever you want. Your image could be huge, megabytes big-- but if you have it set to display as 150 by 300 pixels, well by golly that's what the browser will do.

...Except that setting the display size doesn't change the size of the image file. It's still megabytes big, and is going to take megabytes long for your browser to display. It'll slow everything down, and if you have a large number of large images on one webpage, it can take forever to display. Even if the images are set to DISPLAY at smaller sizes!

If you want to cut down on the load time of your webpage, you change the size of the image in your image editing program, then upload it to your server again. Like magic, the browser will load it much more quickly.

Here's my beef. If you're creating web content, you should have to understand this concept. Maybe it's difficult for you people who haven't been using PCs since they were five, like I have. But my theory is, if you're going to create something, you have to know what you're doing.

If you don't know what you're doing, you make mistakes that will cost you visitors, and also piss me off immensely. I highly suggest you take 5 minutes out of your busy day to learn a little bit about how the internet works, and how you can optimize web pages (and WHY you should!)

The internet is not a right, it's a privilege. Webpages doubly so. Learn how to make them correctly, or I will put voodoo curses upon your tiny brain that will make it itch and itch until finally you can't take it anymore, and shove a pencil up your nose and wiggle it around a bit to finally satisfy that burning sensation. Ahhh, pencil lobotomy.

Thank you, goodnight.

It's a blog! Have a cigar...

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 05:45:17 GMT

It's been a very long time since I've done anything new with my website. But the past week or so, I finally did.

It's a blog. Not one of those contraptions in which I write about the details of my personal life-- no, I'm actually using this as a place to share my more "professional" writing-- song lyrics and essays about horror movies. Yes, really. It's like an online portfolio.

So whether you never knew I had a website, or just thought I'd abandoned it, you can now visit CRASH (http://www.industrialbeauty.com) and have a glimpse into the portions of my mind that have not been picked clean by MySpace surveys.

At the moment, I'm in the middle of a project on religion in horror movies so I assure you there will be more content in the coming couple weeks, leading up to a larger and hopefully intriguing entry.

Thanks for your attention and time, and I hope you at least peek your head in to industrialbeauty.com to see what I've been up to, even if you don't end up visiting regularly.

"Make good choices. Marry the right person."

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 07:02:47 GMT

One of my pet peeves is when the plans I make don't work out exactly the way I thought they would. This is pretty much guaranteed to happen (especially with MY luck!) so I'm thinking I should get over this need for the perfect event.

I've always been like this though, even when I was a kid. I loved planning parties, but HATED when people couldn't come or when it didn't turn out the way I'd envisioned it. I guess I'm always on the quest for great memories. But I forget that all of those great memories that I do have came about by accident. They don't exist because a party someone planned went perfectly, or because everyone came, or because they had a vision of how it would go. It happened of its own free will.

I really need to start letting go, and loosening my grip on my life. Otherwise I'll never be happy.

And it's one thing when there's someone around to tell you these things; that everything will be okay despite the problems, that if you need help they'll help you, and for them to generally be there for you as either the voice of reason or just a sounding board.

It's entirely another when you start hearing those things before they say them, and talk yourself out of getting depressed or upset before it goes too far. Especially when you're like me, and you've never ever been able to do that. It saves a lot of time and energy that you get to use for more important things. Like making those great memories that seem to happen entirely of their own accord.

Thursday was (eventually) great. Today was great. Tomorrow will be at least good if not great. Sunday will be great. And every day thereafter will be some version of good-to-great, no matter the ups and downs that make up each one. Not one day of my life is going to go the way that I want it to, but everything will still somehow be good, despite that.

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 02:04:02 GMT

For all the psych-nerds out there...

Psych Experiments in Virtual Reality

Researchers have recreated in a virtual world one of the most extreme social experiments ever performed in the real world. The results suggest that virtual environments could provide a way to explore human nature in ways that ethical concerns could make impossible to do for real... (visit link above to read more)

Friday Fiver...

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 15:35:38 GMT

1. Will you be having a white Christmas?

Nope... it's raining like mad today. And it's only going to be in the 40's on Christmas... I don't mind! I don't like snow. Especially when I'm going to be traveling to Cairo and back on Christmas Eve and Day. First out to Alsip, then to Westmont, then back to Mt. Prospect; Then back out to Alsip on Christmas Day... I tell ya.

2. Best present you could get/have already received this season?

Forget this season, this year... :) Heh, cryptic!

Although, Carmen gave me some foot relief stuff, and I was REALLY looking forward to using that yesterday but never got a chance... includes these foot bath salts. I really really really can't wait to sit in front of the TV on Saturday night, watch Scrooged, drink wine and soak my feet in hot water with bath salts. Holy Moses, that's going to feel good!

3. Egg nog or snogging under the mistletoe?

A little from column A, a little from column B...

Seriously, there'll be a little more than just snogging going on, if you know what I mean. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

4. Is time on your side?

No freaking way! I am at time's mercy!

5. Favorite holiday tradition:

Hmmmm.... cookie baking. Presents-- not just cause I like getting stuff, I like giving a hell of a lot. That's something at least, give me time and I'll come up with more... this is the first Christmas in a while where I've actually been into it AT ALL.

Oh! Christmas movies :) They're fun! Also, listening to "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Best Christmas song ever!

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:03:08 GMT

It *was* easy. Not at first, but that's what makes it all the more surprising. Because I wasn't expecting it.

And it wasn't easy in that there was no conflict, because as I've learned it's conflict that involves us with other people.

It was easy in that it was natural, and I hardly noticed the transition.

You were right, and I've been thinking about that.

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 06:55:12 GMT

I can't believe Christmas is 12 days away. I have so much to do before then...

I had 4 wisdom teeth, and 3 came out fine. One came out part-way, but has been fine for years. This weekend it decided it was bored, and started causing me pain and swelling up part of the inside of my cheek/gum. So I had to decide to see the dentist yesterday.

I was less one tooth by Monday afternoon. It was my first time having a tooth pulled.

I'm on Penicillin and Vicodin. I'm uncomfortable and have to eat soft things. I have a marketing project for class I have to finish before Friday, so that I get to spend my time on Friday the way that I want to.

I spent last night at my parents' house, and it was kinda nice. Back to being an adult again today, though.

Post-extraction is a bitch.